Firstly,top up to what happended a few dayds ago,I just completed a graduation camp with cynthia. For singapore poly Adventure. Had done up to 2000-3000 punishments.That consist of 400,400,400 sit up,pushup,jumping jacks, and so on.
I almost die there.my stamina wasnt there,my strength wasnt there.The reason being i spent all my time in swimming and none in running and gym .Nvertheless ,we completed and feel great about it.
Next today.second day of Power pleasure craft driving course.I had a bad day,that I wana scream out now.My valentine date just told me she is sick.I have lost the interest and motivation to make her present which i spent almost 5hr++.Then the whole day was alreay gone for me.I had to make myself high by jumping around and creaming to forget watever that is in me,in other words-get high and shift my attention.I did at the expense of others,so sorry.However i got warned and say he is this close to beat me up.
Next in some place of school , I was warned again. My fist is penting up.I aint a expressive person.I rule of thumb in life is that no one crosses my line of carefree state and my personal bubble.And that when someone crosses it, I wont say anything about it,since i aint an expressive person. Therefore I wonder when will be the day that cause me to explode and start slashing the ppl I hated.I remember that I have no interest to compromise and always remain as a sitting duck for ppl to throw stones at.
I will explode one day.I used to trained very hard so that If i one day were to get intoa serious fight I would be able to defend myself.But that day never comes.
I might be unsensitves to others and so on.But actuall y i am a very sensitive person or even highly sensitive person.I cherish my state of carefree and even hope to be even more when i grow up.
This is why i set up a company,I refuse to be constraint by fate,money or ppl.The last thing I will think about is courtesy that invade my bubble and carefree state.I have developed my carefree state that even when I am alone I can be carefree.
That I wished for more in the future eventually if i get to learn aikido or tai chi which follow the art of breathing and flow of life.I hate ppl who command me,Use their authority on me and force me to do the things i hated.If you are the one ,just watch it.
I am just angry with ppl over and over.I know I am sensitive but tat's because I can sense with others is unhappy and so.In a way bad and good.Bad for me,good for others.Nevertheless,I have to train even more to be stronger.To protect myself it seems.
Lastly,I aint happy today and is stressed.
Next is that 1 of the tutor 's mum suddenly retracted her child from working as a tutor that due 2mro.I cant control my worries for it.
End of the day,i will say the same thing.I will become a strong willed person.I'm optimistic abt it.
The vision.
I'm stubborn.
*Above statement is based on anger and not subjected to long term usage of determining who am I.
